keeping up

i know that i haven’t kept up with the blog before i posted the four about our business/adoption announcement.  the past several months we have been trying to get stuff done for the business as well as for the adoption (i will dedicate a post in the near future about what we have been doing as well as where we are in the process and what we can expect next).

writing those 4 posts was emotionally draining for us and took a lot of time and thought as far as what we felt we needed to share as well as things we felt we didn’t need to share.  with those decisions we were forced back to dark times.  to be honest i didn’t think that i could have given my attention to other things going on around us because of trying to find the correct words and time for those other post.

all that to say that in the break of my last post to these recent 4 four posts we were working on everything business and adoption related, so i really feel like i had a good excuse as to why i wasn’t near the computer writing more.

i hope now that things are back to normal, as normal as they are for us right now, i will be able to back up and catch up and stay caught up with our daily lives and all the changes that are taking place.

we have several meetings this week and the next week and andy has a weekend youth trip and will have the computer so it might be next week, but more posts are coming!

purpose

i am not sure if this was the intended purpose of my blog…but it has shown me how terrible i am at trying to blog and keeping my brain focused.  i have been really evaluating my purpose with this blog.  i look at some of my favorite blogs (friends and unknown people) and i have been trying to figure it all out.  one friend blogs about food and recipes (she is an amazing writer and inserts stories that make her recipes even better).  several are health related (about the illnesses that the different subjects go through).  some are about journeys of bringing home a child from another country (adoption).  some are just about the rants of daily living and updates on life.

so i have been trying to decide what is my purpose?  do i have one?  in the beginning my purpose was shockingly still very fuzzy.  i wanted to have a place to “journal” big things that were happening (if you recall that was when we thought we might be moving to arkansas) and so it was the start of keeping a records for myself on what was going on.  then i started thinking it would be a great place for family and friends to be kept in the loop so if it was a semi generic question they could check the blog and see if they could find an answer.  once i had that great thought and typed an e mail to friends and family to say look at this awesome blog i realized that i didn’t think it was awesome.  i was self conscious about my writing and about my topics and about just everything involved so i deleted that email and decided to hide the blog and go back to just a journal.  when we moved to tn i shared the blog with a few people who i knew wouldn’t make fun of me and went from there.  my confidence built a tad to where i shared with a few more people and even still it hasn’t been shared with some friends and family because i still am so very self conscious.  i feel like things that i am blogging about are pointless and not worthy of anyone to take time out and read (i mean my husband doesn’t even read my blog so if he doesn’t it must be a waste of time right?).

this leads me to my original thought about this post…what is the purpose?  why should i or shouldn’t i blog?  what do people care enough about to want to read?  after weeks of contemplating just letting the idea of blogging go (because let’s be honest i am not the best at remembering to blog or the best at content – at best i am mediocre in everything blog related) i have decided that maybe once in my life something doesn’t really need a purpose.  maybe for once i can not have something so planned out to where i am disappointed if it falls through.

so in conclusion this blog has no purpose.  it is a place where i can get on my soapbox and rant and don’t have to worry about falling off.  a place where i can post random pictures and talk about the farm and anything else.  a place i can wish people (who may or may not ever see this) a happy birthday or a congratulations or get well.  a place that is mine.  a place that i hope to one day – even without a purpose – it will make a difference to someone.

bing bing: attention shoppers

ok well on my road to hell paved with good intentions i am preparing myself to go to satan’s workshop or rather the mall to finish up shopping.  nothing makes me more happy (well a few things do but that is besides the point i can be as dramatic as i want) then finding unused gift cards and looking them up on-line and trying to find the balance.  i have 43 dollars left for pottery barn.  i am so excited.  i don’t really know why but i am.  i am going to try to finish up shopping tonight with andy and then go out monday of next week and maybe wednesday of next week to finish up shopping for andy.  i am ready to have all this done.  it is after all almost Christmas and i should have been done early.  i am so excited about all my unused gift cards.  hopefully we will be able to pair them with some good deals and get some really great gifts.

best of intentions

please let me ramble about what i should have done and what i intended to do….

1. i have been meaning to post some pics of some very special Christmas decorations (and of our Christmas house).  i will admit i have taken most of the pictures (i just haven’t down loaded them on the computer).  but i will tonight. maybe.

2. i have been meaning to post everyday.  oops.  once i get better at downloading pics i hope to post everyday (sometimes i feel like i have too many words and not enough supporting pictures).

3. i have been meaning to give an update on our Christmas tree situation.  andy won.  he doesn’t win much so i am sure he is gloating in his victory.  we have a real live tall tree to put up.  but it is still on our patio.  my intention is to put it up tonight.  i am happy that our house is all decorated but i am ready for our tree to be put up.  we will have 3 trees this year and i will post pictures of all 3.

4.  my intention was to be done with shopping by now.  we are going to wrap the last of the gifts tonight so that we can shop tomorrow if need be.  i am thinking next year we will get done early again.  i hope.

as they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  but i promise i really am trying…