catch up time

well i will admit that i am disappointed in myself for not being better at updating.  there are a lot of blogs that i follow and it frustrates me sometimes that they don’t do a better job updating (ahem andy).  anyways i will try to catch you up on what has been going on. 

for starters my computer/internet has been so slow that it takes a long time to get typing because 1. the blog takes forever to come up and 2. the computer takes forever to show what i am writing and to show any corrections (that is the problem with old memory-less computers). 

anyways work has been annoying all last week and so far this week.  the noise volume has increased and i leave each day with a tremendous headache.  i am asked my opinion on things by the upper management and when i give my opinion and my suggestions they act like it is a great idea and they will consider it and yet the go with what they want anyways.  i guess i need to get used to this because i am pretty sure that is how the world works.  

happy birthday to claudette.  claudette is leslie’s mother.  i picked a card out and meant to send it to her but i never got it in the mail.  so i sent her an email instead.  they have an”otis” too but their otis is a boxer.  we both agree not to name another dog otis because psychological problems come with dogs named otis.  🙂

happy 1st birthday to our sweet niece carolina june (me and andy call her cj and i think that for us it is stuck).  her birthday was friday but her party wasn’t until saturday afternoon. 

last week we walked every day but friday (we went to the mall to do a little birthday shopping).  we talked a lot about what we wanted to get her for her birthday.  we wanted to do savings bonds (for college) but they don’t do the paper bonds anymore (it is a long complicated thing). so we thought more.  we wanted to get her something that she could have for a while.  we knew that she was loaded down with clothes and toys since Christmas was just a month ago.  andy decided that he wanted to get her a “baby bracelet” so on friday we skipped the park and went to the mall.  we went to several places and they didn’t have jewelry for children and we almost gave up but i was like one more store.  we hit the jack pot.  we found a simple cross necklace (with a warranty) and got it for her.  we also got her a small jewelry box (not a toy) but something that she can hang onto and put her collection of jewelry in (i have a feeling that she will get more in years to come).  we went home friday and just hung out. 

saturday morning we got up and made breakfast.  ever since andy has been out of school we have really enjoyed making breakfast together and splurging on saturday mornings together.  andy has become a pro at fried eggs and so we have eggs, bacon, and waffles.  we sit down and eat together and watch this old house (this saturday we didn’t get to see it – boo paid programming).  we cleaned the house together (something else i love since he has been out of school).  we got ready and went to cj’s birthday party.  we watched maggie open the gifts because cj just didn’t really care about it all.  we watched her touch her little cake (but she didn’t dive in like some kids).  i thought it was funny because everyone was gathered around her like we were at the zoo.  it makes me wonder if people hadn’t been so attentive and watching her if she would have done more with the cake.  she was too busy watching everyone watch her that she just stuck her fingers in it.  which in my opinion is fine. 

after the party andy took me on a date.  we went to see a movie.  “one for the money.”  it is a movie based on a book series by janet evanovich.  i love that series and i don’t think andy hated the movie so it was a good night.  we saw some previews for some great new movies coming out.  after that we went home and picked something up on the way home.

as far as my to do list.  we collected the money from the roof guy.  i have started the new quilt (and by started i mean i have a pattern cut).  we hung a new shelf in the kitchen and i love it.  we started the collage wall but ran into a problem when otis jumped on the glass for one of the frames and busted it.  i am going to use that frame for another project but we have to replace it for the collage wall.  we are lacking 3 frames for the wall to be done with phase one.  (phase one is getting it on the wall and complete until we have other things we want to add).  that is about all we have accomplished.  but we are having so much fun together on the weekends it makes me feel less guilty about not getting it done. 

we walked yesterday and my legs hurt so bad i almost cried.  we are going to walk again today and part of me is dreading it.  i know it is good for me and i do enjoy walking with andy and talking, but i do love my comfy pants. 

i don’t think we have anything planned for this week except to continue working on the list. 

in andy’s job news.  we haven’t heard a peep out of the school that he applied for.  i don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.  but we did hear about an opening in TN.  it would be in the town where we would love to retire, but i don’t know what we will do about it.  right now we are still praying and trying to figure out what we need to do.  pray for us. 

i hope to have pics of the new shelf and the collage wall up soon.  i hope to update more.  hopefully tomorrow.

weekend epic fail

you may remember my honey do list for this weekend:

clean the house – weed flower beds – work on deck (finish railing and fix gates) – call roof guy (get money back for people across the street using him) – grocery store shopping – plan this weeks menu – take otis to the park – do collage wall (will post pics of before and after) – start work on guest bedroom project (pick pictures) – finish quilt (tee shirt quilt) – start another quilt (Christmas gift) – go on a date – clean out car – take trash – start scanning pictures for another project

out of everything on my list this weekend was an epic fail.  we slept in, cooked breakfast, watched some tv, took a nap, ate some lunch, cleaned the house, talked about what to eat this week (went to the store yesterday), went shopping to pick up supplies for collage wall.  andy painted the cross and the letter b.  i put the pictures in the frames but we have to print one more out and have to decide how to arrange it.  it was too wet to do anything outside with the deck or flower beds.  we watched a movie and went to bed.  it was a lazy weekend.  i know it wasn’t an epic fail but i felt bad for not getting my list done.  andy has said that we are going to work on the wall tonight (he promised) so hopefully things will be done tonight.  also andy carved out a 5 for our 5 year “wood” ornament for our anniversary tree.  i am going to paint it, but i don’t know how i should paint it.  we will see.  i will get some pictures of it too once i get around to it.  (road paved with good intentions…).

we didn’t make it to the park friday, saturday or sunday.  but we went last night.  i thought i was going to cry i was so sore.  but by the end of our laps i wasn’t hurting too bad.  it was just getting through the first mile. 

i guess i will keep this list and add some things too it each week (even though some of the things will have to wait for dry weather).  i love the rain, but i don’t love how lazy it makes me.

rain rain go away

well it is raining.  i was working away and looked outside and it was dark.  i thought that is fine i can do my list in the cloudy weather.  then i saw rain drops.  bummer.  with the rain comes my want to climb into bed (or onto the love seat) with a quilt and a good book.  pausing only to pet the gee or get a cup of hot chocolate.  so now the hard part of the weekend is staying motivated during this “cozy weather.” 

i have made my shopping list and might try to get some of it done tonight so that tomorrow morning i can work on things if andy sleeps in.  first on the list is hair cut.  i am going in 15 minutes to get my hair cut off again and let it grow back out so that it is all one length so i can donate it again in a while. 

last night i was fighting sleep (and the dog for blankets) and i was thinking about different projects that i could do, and about different people that have been in my life and that are in my life now.  some of the thoughts made me sad that people aren’t as close to me as they used to be, but then a lot of the thoughts made me smile because a lot of them are just as close.  i thought of all the places i want to go before i get too old to enjoy traveling (let’s be honest – once i get home i want to stay home so i don’t think i am far off from not wanting to stray too far from my house and comfy pants).  i thought about summer camps coming up and wondering what am i going to do without andy for two weeks and what am i going to do at montreat this year for desserts.  i fell asleep missing people, a little sad and lonely, and craving a cupcake.  otis finally gave me some blanket and andy slid a little closer to me and his elbow rested on my back/side and i felt so safe and secure that all of my thoughts left me and i was gone.  (only to wake up and HAVE to go to work this morning).

*the part above was my blog from friday that i didn’t publish below is today’s post*

it is still raining and i still want to be home on the couch.  they said that we should see some blue skies tomorrow, but i’m not holding my breath.  i didn’t get that post published because i had to leave and get my hair cut.  she did a great job with getting it cut quickly and taught me a few tricks to keeping it tame.  i need to go back and pick up some of the styling stuff she used the day of (it had some thermal protection in it and i want it for straightening my hair).  i will post this and then work on my weekend update and a few other things.

honey do

i am so excited for this weekend.  i don’t really know why.  i think mostly because i am tired of work this week and am ready for a break.   i think i am also excited because i am actually going to be productive and get things done.  last weekend we took time off of our normal saturday plans and sat around watching football and sewing (finishing up a project).  this weekend we are going to clean the house and depending on weather finish up a few other things (might be a good idea to check the weather at some point in time).  so far this is my honey do list (for me and andy).  in random order

clean the house – weed flower beds – work on deck (finish railing and fix gates) – call roof guy (get money back for people across the street using him) – grocery store shopping – plan this weeks menu – take otis to the park – do collage wall (will post pics of before and after) – start work on guest bedroom project (pick pictures) – finish quilt (tee shirt quilt) – start another quilt (Christmas gift) – go on a date – clean out car – take trash – start scanning pictures for another project. 

ok well i think that is plenty to do.  makes me wish i had tomorrow off to work on a few of the things.  i will update and hopefully have some pictures of my weekend adventures. 

in other news we walked again last night.  it has become really nice to walk together and decompress after work.  it has been nice to get that energy out before we get home so that our time at home isn’t complaining about work that day.  we walk and we are a little sore but we are still able to do the 3 miles in a good amount of time.  in a week we are going to start adding half miles per week and try to keep up a good pace and keep adding miles.  it has been nice to be in the fresh air as well.  i know as children we both lived outside and played until we were forced to come in.  i can’t tell you when that changed but we don’t get out as much as we should.  it has been nice to be out in the cold air and see the sun setting each day as we do our laps.  it is also fun to people watch at the park.  we have witnessed a dad getting exercise from tossing a tennis ball to his son.  his son hits it wildly across the court and the dad runs to get it and tosses it again.  (watching it was really cute, but typing it sounds like human fetch).  we have watched teenagers practicing soccer (i guess tryouts are soon?) and boy do they need practice.  but they are out there.  we have seen personal trainers working with people.  a person in a wheel chair supporting their loved one by riding beside them.  german shepherds carrying their toys around the park, the fattest pug mix dog, other fat dogs, a guy walking his doberman while smoking in his pajama pants, friends walking, old people, young people, walkers and runners.  it has been fun creating stories for them.  it just makes me wonder what stories people are creating about us.

 

new year goal update

ok well i don’t do resolutions but i made some goals this year (and i am trying to actually work on them and keep my goals for the year).  here is an update on the goals that i made.

1. don’t bite nails – still haven’t (since sept).  need to start painting them with special nail polish to make them stronger

2. clean up better after selves:  we have been doing great with this.  this weekend we slacked off, but we needed some time to relax.  need to stay on top of it.

3. finish project sewing:  finished one.  going to start on another one this weekend (i hope – that is the plan). 

4. finish project home decor:  not doing too great on this one.  i did get one of the projects out and it is ready for completion this weekend. 

5. walk more:  we have been going to the park after work for the last almost week.  i love it.  we have a great time walking and talking.  we even ran a little last week – it was nice, i can say that now but i was sure i was going to die last week. 

6. cruise:  we haven’t made any reservations yet, but we are still going.  we have taken time off work and have made plans for the dog.  we are going to look at it in the next few weeks and get something in the books.

so it looks like 17 days into the new year i am keeping my goals.  i might update each month or every once in a while.  hopefully this will keep me in check.

girly emotions

i have been told (by my husband) that i am weak and emotional (i’m a girl).  now andy was kidding.  anyone who knows me knows that i would put an end to that thought process if he really said something like that and meant it.  i believe he said it during an emotional breakdown during a chick flick.  we laughed about it.  we laugh at how i cry at stupid shows and commercials (and sometimes sports related things we watch – games, interviews, whatever).  i’m not going to deny that tears flow but i will say that it isn’t completely the norm. 

in a previous post i made the comment that a lot of times i don’t care what other people say to me or about me and that i don’t care what people think about me, but there is that percentage of the time that i do care.  usually under some sort of factor: being sick (or not feeling well), being tired, hungry, thirsty, that time of the month, thinking a lot.  i will cry at a movie or commercial faster than at anything a person says to me…unless with one of the factors listed above.

once again i won’t use names or exact circumstances.  but i was at a gathering watching and listening to the people around me.  i was lost in my own thought which means that i was in a zone and this zone was a blue zone.  i had just had a really bad day at work, me and andy had a conversation on the way to the gathering about his work and i was digesting all of this plus all of the events that were around me at the gathering.  i was blue thinking about what if’s, what could have beens, whys, and i was so tired i honestly just wanted to go home and put on my comfy pants.  but i knew this was important so i sat there surrounded by oblivious people to my blue mood.  (let me say they aren’t really at fault because it isn’t like i stood on a chair and said hey people i’m sad and thirsty so i might be a little sensitive today).  after a while i was asked a simple question (something as simple as what do you want for dessert?).  i gave my simple, respectful answer (something like i don’t want any thank you). and the response from the person was something along the lines of “oh come on.”  the response was pretty much yelled at me in front of a gathering of people that i see a lot.  so not only was i already emotional because of thinking and being tired i was also humiliated in front of all these people.  i looked at andy and just started crying.  i couldn’t help it.  i wanted to go home.  i think andy’s feelings were hurt that the event happened and i think he was a little mad because we left shortly after that.  (i think he is used to – if you see the tears it will get worse before it gets better – so he rescued me and we left).  i was so sad that the person yelled at me like this.  i know that we don’t have the greatest relationship.  i know that i am to blame, but i don’t claim all the blame.  i feel like there will always be strain on our relationship and i don’t think there is anything that i can’t do to make it go away.  (hey give me credit i have tried for many years).  i have tried talking a lot and being extra sweet, i have tried being silent so not to offend, i have tried avoidance all together.  it seems that nothing i do makes it right.  so i put on a smile and try to be the least offensive as i can.  i want to have a better relationship and sometimes i dream that we do, but reality hits and i cry at the drop of  a napkin because of an off handed comment directed my way. 

all of that to say i am in my blue zone today and as i sit here at work i pray for a sweet e mail from andy so that i can ready it.  i pray that i get to leave early to get a hug from my husband.  being wrapped in his arms makes me less blue (unless he hugs too hard – haha).  he makes me think about other things in a positive spin and makes me forget that i am so tired, thirsty, hungry, thinking, and feeling sick so that i can have a good day and keep my weak emotional self in check.  i think tonight i will put on my comfy pants curl up with him on the couch and watch something on tv that will make me cry.  all knowing that he understand me and will hold me tighter.  right now all i have to do is make it through the day without climbing under my desk and hiding from these people.  not sobbing when someone adds more crap to my inbox.  and ignoring all the rude comments that fly around my head.  6 hours to go until my blue mood can walk out this door of insanity.

work update (andy)

ok well it has been a rough few weeks at church.  it isn’t a secret that we aren’t happy there.  (hints why little rock was the start of this blog).  things have been said that have really made me upset after leaving church.  there have been several people leave the church and it makes me sad to see them go.  i think selfishly i know that they are more like me in thought and so i feel trapped.  i feel like they are free from the negative things that i have to hear on a weekly basis (more often because andy vents to me about what he has to deal with in the office each day). 

it wears me down each week.  it is slowly chipping away at my faith in the church in general.  i can’t believe that people aren’t being shocked at what is said and that people aren’t thinking about and voicing concern.  it is slowly chipping away at my faith.  my faith in a God that some days i am so mad at i could just spit (good ole tn phrase).  it is those days where i blame God for not doing something to put an end to it.  i pray that he will stand up and right the wrong that is happening in His house.  but then i think about all the negative things in history (hitler) and think that he works in mysterious ways and as much as i hate it, i have to be patient.  i hate it.  i still believe an out awaits us – soon i hope.

andy has been looking and looking.  a job opened up in tn.  we are talking about it.  there are so many negatives about it, but there are also so many positives about it.  we haven’t ruled it out but we are still praying.  a job opened up at a private school in charlotte and andy sent his resume for it.  the only worry we have about that one right now is that the day he sent his resume they took the posting off line.  hopefully they still took his application.  we haven’t heard anything but are still praying the prayer that we have said since little rock.  that if this is meant to be to let it happen and if not to stop it.  God stopped little rock because it wasn’t meant to be and he answered a prayer with that.  we are just waiting for the next prayer to be answered and for us to be able to move out of the situation we are in now.  prayers for us would be much appreciated.  fingers crossed that something becomes open and is the perfect match for us.

blackwelder christmas 2011

i am still waiting on pictures for Christmas from andy’s parents house.  i keep forgetting to take my jump drive for it.  but this is one picture of us that his parents e mailed to us.  hopefully i can get them from his parents and posted before Christmas 2012.  🙂  notice my nails and they are long(ish) and painted.  yay.

tn Christmas 2011

growing up i always got to listen to my friends talk about family reunions and major holiday get togethers.  deep down i believe that i always had a bitterness towards those friends because my family didn’t do a family reunion weekend.  we didn’t have tee shirts made with our names on them.  we didn’t travel to new and exciting places to invade and explore.  we didn’t do family reunions.  i also had a bitterness (deep down) because we didn’t do major holidays.  my mom worked, sometimes my dad was on the road.  we didn’t have Easter traditions or thanksgiving traditions.  i remember one year helping my dad make a traditional thanksgiving meal and when mom got home from work she was almost to tired to eat it.  i remember another thanksgiving eating at shoneys.  but the nontradition of it became tradition.  growing up i had a bitterness but the older i get the more it goes away because  for as long as i can remember we have been going to tn for Christmas.  it took me years to see that we didn’t have to have a family reunion because Christmas was our reunion.  we saw all the great aunts, uncles, cousins, close family friends, grandparents, siblings, and still to this day it is our reunion.  everyone gathers at the kingsport hwy house and we do Christmas.  we eat, we play a gift exchange game, we eat more, we talk, we catch up, we invade the yard with cars and in the snow cousins walking and playing and in nice weather people sitting on the porch enjoying the time to be with family.  Christmas is our tradition.  i knew that getting married would be hard at Christmas.  i knew i wanted to be in tn with my family, but i knew that andy would want to be in charlotte with his.  i am so lucky to have a husband that understands that Christmas is the one time we have our reunion.  he understands that all the other holidays we are with his family on the “day of” so he has made it possible for the past 5 years to be with me in tn on Christmas Day so that we can be a part of our family reunion.  this year my great aunt martha was in the hospital so i didn’t get to see her or my cousins susan and nancy, my cousin brian was also not there, he is in fl.  we missed the so much but we had some extra faces around.  my cousin jack’s dad was there and my dad’s family (grandmama and aunt annie) were there as well.  my cousin kelli and her husband (cousin in law matt) had their baby there – bryson.  we had a great time.  here are a few pictures of our time in tn. 

otis wanted to help me open my gift

 we play the gift exchange game where each person brings a gift and we draw numbers and you can either pick a gift out of the middle or steal someone elses.  we do that until all the gifts are gone.  otis tried to open everyone’s gifts.  he wanted to help me.

kelli and matt’s son bryson

sitting in front of the tree.  it was hard to get him to look at the camera because otis was walking around the bottom and he kept looking over the side at him.

bryson wanted to look at otis not the camera

 in the kitchen after all the Christmas tree pictures.  he was staring at the huge pot of corn.

looking at all the food on the stove

 keeping him away from mom and dad while they get their food.

 

letting kelli get her plate

i held bryson and let kelli and matt get their plates and let the line die down.  we went into the living room and played with otis, andy, and will. 

 

happy baby

 otis wondering if he could sit in my lap too.

bryson wanted to play but otis didn't care

  

before we eat we say the blessing and otis always joins us for the blessing.  i think he believes that if he is part of blessing the food he can eat the food.  this might be a good time to say that the only people food he gets are apples, bananas, and cheese.  my family knows this.  andy walked into a room and saw my cousin giving otis a chip.  andy looked at otis and then at my cousin and my cousin shrugged and said “he looked hungry.”  who knows what otis got to eat since he looked hungry.  maybe a sausage ball too?

waiting to pray

another Christmas tradition that the women have is to wear santa clause necklaces.  my mother painted them back in 94 i think.  all of the other women got them and me and kelli got ours from our grandmother’s once they passed away.  they are very special to us. 

Merry Christmas

i think he loved his guitar.  he played most of the day on Christmas and sometimes when i get home from work the guitar is out.  hopefully he will play for me soon.

playing for my grandmother

i know this post is a tad late, but better than never posting.  it made me smile to just look back on the pictures.  i love our traditional, family reunion Christmas.

random silly times

i called his name at the last minute (he was standing with us thinking that he would get a treat).  look at his ear flapping in the wind.  he turned his head so quickly that it flapped away from his head and i caught it mid flap.  silly dog.  (we did give him a treat to get him out of the way). 

if i go in do i get a treat?

he doesn’t ever go in his crate without help unless he wants a treat.  he has a huge sweet tooth and will walk in his dreaded crate anytime as long as he is rewarded (and as long as we aren’t about to leave).  one night we were making dinner and he went in and sat down.  we finished making dinner and eating it when we realized the dog was missing.  i went in the kitchen to clean up and he was sound asleep.  he stayed in there until he got his treat.  i had to reward that behavior.

yes?

 andy is going to kill me.  but i love this picture.  it makes me laugh as i sit at my desk having a bad day.  i was going to take a cool profile shot as he was concentrating on sometime and at the last second he turned his head and made a funny face.  i laughed then and am laughing now.  i love that he does off the wall things and that we laugh all the time together.